1 05 2016

So… I’ve learned that whether we like it or not, all things are connected. For example, I make a choice, a decision, if you will. You think, a-ha well she chose that over me!!
Thereby you (hypothetically speaking) and not necessarily understanding, that your decision(s) affected my making the decision(s), that I ultimately made, all because of “Your” choice(s).
Choices are made every day by each and everyone of us. What we eat, will or will not make us fat, for example. But sometimes decisions are made which have an affect, or effect not anticipated, or expected therefore.

I’m so sorry!!! SORRY, SORRY, SORRY to YOU!!! YOU JUST DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW, OR UNDERSTAND that I never meant to hurt you!! EVER!! YOU HAVE no idea how SORRY I Am…
I am “cynically optimistic” that you will forgive me. But truthfully, there is a part of me that doesn’t feel that is possible because you make very clear distinctions about everyone and everything. There seem to be no grays in your world.
It is because you never returned any of my calls or messages when I returned, leaving earlier than expected, to return to you, and therfore left my China behind. That being said, sadly I realized how adamantly you had decided about me, and my choices, decisions. I realized early on an apology is not enough, sometimes, anyway.
I only returned to Taiwan because I was offered a position designing with a major department store in Kaohsiung, Taiwan. Some terrible things happened to me well beyond my control, and clearly not anticipated, much less expected.
And once again, I managed to return to my beautiful USA, with help from some friends.
Hence developing a “cynical optimism” so to speak. And… given current circumstances, which I admit I don’t fully understand. I don’t actually expect you to change “your mind” about “things”.
But I do hope, although hoping does seem hopeless, at times. I always hope to see you, speak/chat with you. I hope to at least be “friends” again, with you… BUT…
I don’t believe because seeing does seem to be required to believe. With that being said, I’m cynical since apparently I do NOT see!! So… how does one, how do I, how to… BELIEVE?? IS THE QUESTION.
I don’t know, don’t have a clue as to how to understand, or come to terms with how EVERYTHING has unfolded in these past 40 years. But I wish, and hope beyond hopes, the best for you everyday!!!
I don’t know, or understand your current situation but only want the best for you, ALWAYS!!!
So, I’m hoping at some point you might be able to FORGIVE ME about “IT All”.

Lost Angels[The Discovery]>Robert Redford!!

18 01 2016

I shall find a way to make my movie “Lost Angels[The Discovery], in spite of “the haters”. I shall find a way to buy the books to study; I shall find a way to learn all of the software to make it right. I shall find an honest way to pay all of my bills. I shall make our movie in honor of Steve who, along with Mark, helped me to become cancer free.

I have lost 25 hours of work (total hours per week), since November 30th. This current week 1/18 to 1/24 I’ve been scheduled only 15 hours at work. + I’ve been told if,  “…things don’t improve, more will be cut”! Most of the high schoolers are making more hours than I!

“They” try to drag you down. “They” work so hard to make some of us miserable. But I don’t have time for “It”!! I have a life! I may be 62, but, I am young at heart. I believe in “HEART”, perseverance, dedication, hoping for the best, devotion>Robert!!!


3 01 2016

As I said in a previous blog, life is tough! It throws us curve balls, slams us against the wall, then rips our heart out.

But the key is to find a do-able way to weather the hard times. It’s so easy to become cynical. So easy to become bitter. I’ve been there, didn’t like it one bit. I didn’t like the way it felt.

Robert/John C, I’ve been searching for years how to at least genuinely Hope, again. How to Believe, again. And most of all, How to Dream, again. Sundance helped give me perspective.

The only answer I have found that works for me is to Do. Nike’s motto to, Just Do It, for me works. In Doing “It” I know I’m at least trying, and making an honest effort.

I Don’t know how far I’ll go. But at least I’m trying, no matter who makes fun of me. Or no matter the event in my life that tries to stop me.

I Am Doing It simply by genuinely trying. So I now have a % of Hope. I can’t measure it but if it’s the size of a mustard seed, it will grow… strong and big!


Bruce, Robert Redford, & SFF

15 12 2015

So I’ve heard this past week that there were those who thought this to be a dead blog site… No Way!!!

I fell, hit my head damn hard on the kitchen floor at the McD’s where I work. Wasn’t good, couldn’t remember my name. I have worked damn hard to pull “IT” together.

So although I don’t blog everyday, or necessarily every week. I truly try to blog once a month. But since I learned people thought we’d given up.

I’m writing this to say, do you know me?! And, if you think you know me, why would you say, much less think I’d given up?! Life kicks us in the ass, and maybe we fall down and lie there for awhile.

But, if you actually knew me, you’d know cancer didn’t keep me down. My ex-husband didn’t keep me down. My 2 daughters didn’t keep me down. So… what do you actually know about me, huh?!

Life is life. It knocks you down, throws you against a wall, tears you up and rips your heart out. A Robert I once knew used to say, you’re young. You’ll learn when you get older. Right, so cynicism = maturity? If that’s the case then I’m more mature than “the hills”!

I have been there, cynical. Don’t like it one bit. Turns a perfectly nice person into a “Bitch” or an “Asshole”. So… I’ve removed the “B” and leave it as an “Itch”.

I’m a “pain-in-the-butt”, an itch with a twist. You can hate me, lie about me, call me names, make fun of me, ignore me and hope I just go away, or like my ex, wish I was dead. Not gonna happen, I’m here to stay.

The “good guys” don’t run and hide, they stay and fight the good fight. They get up, dust themselves off, re-group, and go at it again. I’ll make my movie, that’s the very least I can do for Steven.

Love is love, mine doesn’t die, it grows. Like my loyalty when treated right, believe in me. You’ll see, even if I’m 90.

Film Industry, Sundance Film Festival, Me…

7 04 2012

I am trying very hard to make a film worthy of anyone seriously pursuing filmmaking.  The difference is that my husband and I are doing it all by ourselves, pretty much.  Our best friend Steve passed away 11 years ago now, suddenly of cancer.  We learned about it 3 weeks before his passing.  He wanted very much to make films, he loved good stories, and so we decided to pursue filmmaking in his honor and his memory.

We all know these things take time, hard work, consistent dedication, talent, and so many other important and useful qualities.  I in know way pretend to have them all, or know it all.  I simply push forward hoping some in this industry of filmmaking will take me seriously, meaning my work.

Steve and my husband helped me become cancer free after 12 years, 1987-1999.  Steve passed on Jon Bon Jovi’s birthday March 2, 2001.  Some have said to me why do you dwell on the past?!?  I don’t.  I use my history to push me forward, to remember all of those who have been positive influences in my life.  And for all who are of the opinion that I whine and complain, you try surviving 12 years of cancer, or 7 years of cancer, like Steve Jobs did.  Then if you are one of the “lucky ones” to survive, what they don’t tell you is what you will go through to re-build your life.

I am grateful for all that I have been blessed with, my creative journey has kept me both sane and full of hope that there must be some in this wonderful industry of filmmaking that do not discriminate simply because I am a “50 something”.  All that I am trying to do with my life is have a life.  A life that I was blessed to have thanks to a higher power most of us call God, and two wonderful and dear friends, Mark being my sweet husband.

I have lost my third computer since 2008 to hackers, I will get another at some point when my budget allows.  But in the meantime I am working on my shooting schedule here in Iowa, sketching my storyboard for “Lost Angels”.  In addition, I am working out the kinks in my lyrics for both my movie soundtrack, as well as my commercial CD that will be genre specific.

Life is not easy for any of us.  This economy we are all in makes dreams that much harder to pursue, and achieve.

Thank you all for your interest and support because we can all use a community of people that like and care about what we do.

We Have 2 Films “In Consideration” @SFF

6 10 2011

We are both humbled and honored to announce that our 2 films, “The Passion, The People, The Party” and “The Art of Patience: A Visual Journey Behind The Arts Of China” are “…In Consideration” @SFF, The Sundance Film Festival.  Thank you Mr. Redford and SFF staff!  We dream it and try to achieve it, but you help to provide the “The Hope” through all of your many supportive and wonderful organizations.  Thank you so very much for the opportunities Sundance makes possible

Thank You Sundance! We are honored by your kind & supportive words!

27 02 2011

We, Renn Reed and Mark L. Barth, are genuinely honored that the following have taken the time to write to me to express the following encouraging remarks. The Sundance Institute’s Producer in Residence Feature Film Program Anne Lai has been kind enough to share with us that they, Sundance, have not only “…become fans of our project, “LOST ANGELS[The Discovery]…[Dececmber 21, 2009]“, but that they, Sundance, feel it has “tremendous merit and potential…[October 27, 2010]” and that it made for even a tougher selection process this year”.  We knew going in and applying for the Sloan Commissioning Grant of $25,000 USD that we probably wouldn’t make the cut being that our feature-length film is an action, thriller, drama, not a documentary.  The fact t that we are nobody of importance to the indie world or for that matter, the film industry at large, is irrelevant.

And when we applied for the 2011 Sundance Film Festival we were fairly certain we wouldn’t make the cut there either, and we didn’t, despite the current Sundance mantra that they are having a “revolution”.  Fact is we just weren’t, aren’t, good enough. When John Cooper wrote me [Friday December 3, 2010] on behalf of the Sundance Programming team to “…thank (me)”, and to “not to be discouraged by this decision”, going on to say that “…we had far more worthy films than we had room for in the program”, I took heart in this.

As I have been told by some involved in the film industry that I am “…an embarrassment to myself “.  Fine, afterall I am 57 years old.  But I have always believed one should, as Justin Bieber says, “Never Say Never”, to their hopes and dreams.  So I remind myself when Malpaso Productions asked for our script in December 2008.  I was so excited I sounded like a 2 year old at Christmas.  Then in February 2009 Bruce and David Willis’ former company Willis Brothers Films asked for our script, I was equally as excited.   Just as I was honored and thrilled to have the opportunity to work and learn from all that I saw on set, when I was selected for the extra work in National Treasure Book of Secrets in May 2007 shot at Mount Rushmore, South Dakota.

I am grateful for all of our sponsors, they are truly our heroes, and we only have our words to thank them for all of their support through these last ten years.  Whether it was a one time donation, a discounted product, or donations outright, and of course all of those on-going donations, we can only show our appreciation through our efforts to keep trying and pushing forward always keeping in mind the importance to improve our understanding of their products, honing our talents, and hoping one day to succeed in achieving our goals.

For Example, Sony Creative Software has made it possible for me to explore my musical talents.  The couple of measures one hears at our website, http://www.LiquidIceEnt.com is the very first song I ever wrote.   I realize I have a long way to go in refining my musical talents and skills, but I actually wrote this myself on our keyboard, then took it into our Sony products and engineered it to what you hear on our website.  The entire piece can be downloaded for free at my LinkedIn.com website http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=8467278&trk=tab_pro, where one can also hear a song I engineered titled “Shut-UP!” written for the action sequences for our movie.

But of all the many hats I wear at Liquid Ice Entertainment the one that has been the greatest challenge has been scriptwriting.  Our original script, “LOST ANGELS[The Discovery]“, is currently with one of the top script consultants in the business.  I am so grateful and honored that this person is helping me, again saying thank you just isn’t enough.   I am a very detail-oriented person and having shot, directed, and produced over 50% of “LOST ANGELS[The Discovery]” for my “back-up plan”.  I have been learning that scriptwriting and scriptwriters in general, do not receive enough appreciation.

I realize as a novice scriptwriter that I have literally tons to learn.  But I know we have a good story or all of those stated above would not have asked for our original script.  But the art of scriptwriting is a challenge unlike any other I have ever known, be it editing, compositing, marketing, directing, etc.  It is an art form that challenges me to my very core.  So when I read that many movies have gone through numerous revisions some upwards of over 20, 30, 40 revisions, I take heart in my efforts to learn how to write a script the “right” way.  I believe it is something I can learn to do well, and the “right” way.  So when I am seriously disheartened as I am today by “IT” all.  I look at the different emails that Sundance and others, have written to me, and focus on remembering the wonderful compliments that professional people have given me.  I keep moving forward through the heartache of losing MY only desktop computer to hackers trying to get the script, even if I am “embarrassing myself”.

Because afterall what else do I have?  I am 57 years old and going on eight years of being unemployed.  We, Mark and I, have many good ideas for theatrical films some of which are illustrated on our website.  But even if am never able to produce these other projects, I will at least have honestly tried to make a go of it. For I must continue trying, if for no other reason, than to show our beloved best friend Steven J. Campbell, who suddenly fell ill and died March 2, 2001 from cancer of the sternum.  That he, Steve, coupled with my beloved husband Mark, did NOT waste his time and efforts to help my heal AND survive cancer of the cervix, twice back to back, just about one and a half years before he, Steve, fell ill and passed away.

Steve never gave up on me.  When I had cancer I got up to 400 pounds from the medicine and being too weak to do much of anything.   Steve never stopped dreaming that he, Mark, and I could make movies.  “Okay”, he would say, “we’re older, but we can do it.  It doesn’t matter that we’re nobodies, or poor, ofr that we have a lot to learn, we can do this…  we can find a way to make our dreams come true”. Well the tenth anniversary of burying our beloved friend and colleague arrives in two days March 2nd, and I have nothing to show him as he watches  us, rooting for us, from up there somewhere above.

AND although I have lost my only desktop computer to hackers trying to get our script; AND although recently our script was at another major house in Los Angeles where they told us they liked the script but it needs some more work; AND even though the financier with whom I had thought I’d been building a good, strong, business rapport with and who had referred me to this third house;  I have to and must find a way to move forward and I suppose create another back-up plan for my back-up plan.

Because somehow I am going to make this movie, “LOST ANGELS[The Discovery]” and make it the “right” way, which for me means this includes Bruce Willis as the male lead star.  So what that I dream large, I say shoot for the stars, maybe I’ll catch the moon. There are more stupid things I could be doing with my time like gossiping and ridiculing people because they dream large, as the handful of people have chosen to do about me.

Either way at least I am trying to do something constructive and meaningful with my time, talents, energy, etc.  I am working hard to make sure all of you naysayer’s don’t get to me or bring me so far down I give up on myself and my dreams.  When I go to bed at night I can at least tell myself the truth, I do keep trying, and trying to do it well.

Godspeed to you all.


Renn Reed, President
Liquid Ice Entertainment