LostAngelsMovie>RennReed>RobertRedford>SundanceFF>6

3 06 2016

The mind is a funny place. We think we know what’s best, for ourself, and for those we love. When really it is all just a crapshoot. But my movie, Lost Angels The Discovery, is not.

Adele is a wonderful singer/songwriter. Maybe you’ve heard of her. But if you haven’t you should buy at least her latest album titled, “25”. Her songs speak to my heart and I’m not much of one for nostalgia except when it alludes to those I love.

But, “The Other Side” speaks to “US”. About “US”. I’m certain there are many who feel the same. We are ” …running out of time”, you and I. No one knows what tomorrow may bring. All any of us know is that bills and hard work are givens, every single day.

I miss you. Your face. Your tenderness. But your eyes always spoke volumes. It seemed that when you looked into my eyes there was always doubt. A questioning. It was never a lack of trust. You just seemed to not really believe, in me.

We all need acceptance. You did that. We all need a friend to be able to share ourselves with. You were that. We all need love and a positive rapport with those close to us. To grow, learn from, and become ourselves. Only better. We had that.

But your eyes were full of a longing, of a sadness. I’m not exactly sure how to even describe it. You weren’t happy, that was clear. I did not hold the answers, the solution. I did not hold that magic key to make it all okay for you.

And in that horrible day when you broke the bad news to me, what was I suppose to do? What was I suppose to say? I was young, and not demanding. I was not a DIVA and cannot even imagine thinking that I had a “RIGHT” to you.

So I did the only thing I understood, I left. It’s not like I even thought, ” …so how dare she interfere with us”! You were hers. She was yours.

I was something else. But the “Mistress” type I was not. To be that “OTHER WOMAN”, no thank you. I respected your children too much for such.

And, if you think it was easy. Any of it. Wake Up!! Because it wasn’t. Ever.

Advertisements




LostAngelsMovie>RennReed>RobertRedford>SundanceFF>2

10 05 2016

I’ve always believed in you.

Married w/Children was my only reason. All the girls hated me, they couldn’t understand why we became friends. I think really it was more… how did we become friends, and they didn’t.

I’m very ordinary, very average looking.  I was never that good in school. I wanted to make something of myself, stand on my own 2 feet.

You wanted to give me the world. I have loved you always. Yet your mantra to me was, “…do you think you could ever love me the way I love you”?

But you never seemed able to feel my love for you. Maybe because we are born from different generations. I don’t know. Seems though that you should have understood, me, after 5 years??

I refused the jewelry, the monogramed drafting table, clothes, Porsche, apartment, absolutely everything. But you never seemed to actually get it.

I refused it all because all I ever wanted, needed… was you. I didn’t need your money. I didn’t need your fame. I was never with you because of your “Golden Boy” good looks. I enjoyed you, loved YOU.

Refusing all that you offered me including flying to Europe, should have screamed volumes about how much I loved YOU!!

But that day, that horrible day, where reality met fantasy I knew we would never be. Not the way I had hoped. And so I had to do something to help my heart. To help my soul. I had to go away, my pain was too great to stay.

I don’t do well with pain, sadness, all of it. I came to you in tears hoping you would have some reassuring kind words to offer me. But no, you thought I chose China over you.

In all reality I was not capable of fighting the insurmountable odds that I was up against. So the only thing I could do was to flee as far away from you as possible. And in a way where you would never again be able to get to me.

But that path which I chose because of how the stars changed our world. What I thought was a constructive way to re-think and re-organize my life, my goals.

Turned out to be the most horrid of nightmares. A scorpions nest full of the worst dreams one could ever imagine. And some beyond imagining. No one could have foreseen any of this shit-storm coming. Not a soul.

That’s when I began to realize, and learn that yes, although we do make decisions everyday. All too frequently for many of us, consequences occur that hit us seemingly out of no where.

And there we are truly in the middle of the storm. No family to help, and no friends available. There we are, stuck, and shit-outta-luck.





Sundance Film Festival 2011

26 09 2010

Renn Reed

Renn Reed ‎”Lost Angels[The Discovery]” short (although a full-length feature film when we do finally go into full production), has been submitted to the Sundance Film Festival for consideration for the SFF 2011 (January 20-30th 2011), please send “POSTIVE VIBES” our way!





Hey All!

6 05 2009

I’m now at Twitter.com/LostAngelsMovie and UStream.com Check-us-out!