LostAngelsMovie>RennReed>RobertRedford>SundanceFF>1

1 05 2016

So… I’ve learned that whether we like it or not, all things are connected. For example, I make a choice, a decision, if you will. You think, a-ha well she chose that over me!!
Thereby you (hypothetically speaking) and not necessarily understanding, that your decision(s) affected my making the decision(s), that I ultimately made, all because of “Your” choice(s).
Choices are made every day by each and everyone of us. What we eat, will or will not make us fat, for example. But sometimes decisions are made which have an affect, or effect not anticipated, or expected therefore.

I’m so sorry!!! SORRY, SORRY, SORRY to YOU!!! YOU JUST DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW, OR UNDERSTAND that I never meant to hurt you!! EVER!! YOU HAVE no idea how SORRY I Am…
I am “cynically optimistic” that you will forgive me. But truthfully, there is a part of me that doesn’t feel that is possible because you make very clear distinctions about everyone and everything. There seem to be no grays in your world.
It is because you never returned any of my calls or messages when I returned, leaving earlier than expected, to return to you, and therfore left my China behind. That being said, sadly I realized how adamantly you had decided about me, and my choices, decisions. I realized early on an apology is not enough, sometimes, anyway.
I only returned to Taiwan because I was offered a position designing with a major department store in Kaohsiung, Taiwan. Some terrible things happened to me well beyond my control, and clearly not anticipated, much less expected.
And once again, I managed to return to my beautiful USA, with help from some friends.
Hence developing a “cynical optimism” so to speak. And… given current circumstances, which I admit I don’t fully understand. I don’t actually expect you to change “your mind” about “things”.
But I do hope, although hoping does seem hopeless, at times. I always hope to see you, speak/chat with you. I hope to at least be “friends” again, with you… BUT…
I don’t believe because seeing does seem to be required to believe. With that being said, I’m cynical since apparently I do NOT see!! So… how does one, how do I, how to… BELIEVE?? IS THE QUESTION.
I don’t know, don’t have a clue as to how to understand, or come to terms with how EVERYTHING has unfolded in these past 40 years. But I wish, and hope beyond hopes, the best for you everyday!!!
I don’t know, or understand your current situation but only want the best for you, ALWAYS!!!
So, I’m hoping at some point you might be able to FORGIVE ME about “IT All”.
I SHALL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, ALWAYS.

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