Song Shut-Up!

19 06 2009

Check It Everyone!  VOTE “Hot or Not” For the song, Shut-Up! By Renn Reed,
Copyright 2008-2009 LIECorp All Rights Reserved
Lost Angels @ http://hot931.com/?p=pages/promotions0/hot_or_not





See What Steve Foldvari, VP Sony Creative Software Says:

10 06 2009

Steve Foldvari Said:
Hey Renn!  Got the CD w/songs…all great…excellent stuff!

I never took you for an industrial rocker, but those first two tracks were thumping!
And I recognized the final track from your website… very atmospheric.  Obviously, since I was able to remember it from only hearing it once awhile back, it made an impression.
Hope all’s well with you !
Steve





My Music

6 06 2009

Just click on the Myxer widget to hear my ringtone Shut-up! from my new CD Lost Angels  …and tell a friend too!





My Ringtone Shut-Up! By Renn Reed

6 06 2009


Shut-Up! Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved

Shut-Up! Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved

by Renn Reed, President Liquid Ice Entertainment

ringtone from myxer.com





LostAngelsMovie>RennReed>RobertRedford>SundanceFF>6

3 06 2016

The mind is a funny place. We think we know what’s best, for ourself, and for those we love. When really it is all just a crapshoot. But my movie, Lost Angels The Discovery, is not.

Adele is a wonderful singer/songwriter. Maybe you’ve heard of her. But if you haven’t you should buy at least her latest album titled, “25”. Her songs speak to my heart and I’m not much of one for nostalgia except when it alludes to those I love.

But, “The Other Side” speaks to “US”. About “US”. I’m certain there are many who feel the same. We are ” …running out of time”, you and I. No one knows what tomorrow may bring. All any of us know is that bills and hard work are givens, every single day.

I miss you. Your face. Your tenderness. But your eyes always spoke volumes. It seemed that when you looked into my eyes there was always doubt. A questioning. It was never a lack of trust. You just seemed to not really believe, in me.

We all need acceptance. You did that. We all need a friend to be able to share ourselves with. You were that. We all need love and a positive rapport with those close to us. To grow, learn from, and become ourselves. Only better. We had that.

But your eyes were full of a longing, of a sadness. I’m not exactly sure how to even describe it. You weren’t happy, that was clear. I did not hold the answers, the solution. I did not hold that magic key to make it all okay for you.

And in that horrible day when you broke the bad news to me, what was I suppose to do? What was I suppose to say? I was young, and not demanding. I was not a DIVA and cannot even imagine thinking that I had a “RIGHT” to you.

So I did the only thing I understood, I left. It’s not like I even thought, ” …so how dare she interfere with us”! You were hers. She was yours.

I was something else. But the “Mistress” type I was not. To be that “OTHER WOMAN”, no thank you. I respected your children too much for such.

And, if you think it was easy. Any of it. Wake Up!! Because it wasn’t. Ever.





LostAngelsMovie>RennReed>RobertRedford>SundanceFF>5

22 05 2016

Since you’re about to turn 80 I thought I would try to give one of us closure on this matter of US since neither of us is getting any younger. So… assuming you can’t, or just aren’t interested I’ve decided that I would take that brave first step forward.

And if you walk away with understanding nothing else. It is my hope after all is said and done. That you will know without a doubt that I have always loved you. Always shall love you. I have never stopped believing in you. I do believe that for a moment in time, you loved me too. Once.

And if these, my blogs, are the cause of any embarrassment for you, I’m sorry. I’d heard through the grapevine that your current wife has been of the notion that we communicate. LOL!! She really doesn’t know me at all. We almost reconnected years ago at one of my art exhibitions in the ’80’s.

A lot of people were there. She, your current wife, was there too. I couldn’t get away soon enough. Just as I managed to excuse myself from the interested Art Patrons. Just as I was coming over to you to say “Hi” you walked out the door with her.

So if that actually were true. If in fact we’ve been communicating. Then I wouldn’t be posting my blogs about these past 40 years without you, lol!!
I cried a lot afterwards. Then looked at myself in the mirror and said, time to move on.

But I’m tap dancing around things. I have waited a long, long time to speak to you. To share things with you. And maybe it might help to fill in the cracks, or gaps, or chasms, should you happen to still care.

I never took your comments telling me how much you loved me, for granted. I simply knew I had to be strong for the worst. I had to try to NOT be vulnerable where I would lose all sense of self in you. You are after all very easy to lose oneself in.





LostAngelsMovie>RennReed>RobertRedford>SundanceFF>4

22 05 2016

China changed my life forever. Even so, I’ve never forgotten you. Us. I don’t know that my going to China was a mistake, or wrong. I did manage to sort things out about us that first trip.

That’s why I returned to you. For YOU. For US. Like you had gone on about for 5 years. But, you weren’t there. You weren’t available, to me. Anymore. I called you at all the numbers I had always called you. Left message after message. No reply.

I called more than you can imagine. My calls to you ended because you never called me back. Anymore. So I logically drew the conclusion that I was wrong about you. Wrong about US. There was no more US.

I completed my last semester of college, graduated. And there was no one there to celebrate it with. No family. No friends. But most of all, no you. All those months while at BYU trying to reconnect with you and not once did you ever return my phone calls.

You were always black and white, cut and dried. However you want to put it. At that point you’d become the absolute epitome of a hypocrite, to me. Professing profusely your “profound” love for me. But no reply.

You would go off and work, making your movies for months at a time. But, I was always dependable like clock work. Always there for you when you returned.

However, I go off to China for 18 months and return to you. Finally ready for you. And voila, you’re not there!! Rather, you’re not available to reconnect with. Ever, ever, ever!!

Your life had been carved out long before we met. That’s fine. I wanted my own life. A life I’d earned. Not a life given to me because some rich, famous guy could make anything happen.

Just a life I could be proud of and say, I CAN stand on my own two feet. Why did that bother you so much?? Why did you always equate that important goal of mine to not loving you as much as you claimed you loved me??

I wasn’t being stubborn or egotistical. Really I was being practical. I knew I was young… 17 years younger than you. That didn’t matter to me, but what did matter was your stubbornness. Your ego. It never seemed to be enough that I just loved you, no conditions, no gifts necessary. Just you, just me.





LostAngelsMovie>RennReed>RobertRedford>SundanceFF>3

18 05 2016

We were together for 5 years, you and I. You thought I didn’t love you, the way “…you loved me”… WHY??

I refused everything you tried to give me. Everyone else just took what you offered. It made sense to me to decline. Not to be different, but rather genuine.

It’s my nature to try and do for myself. I had goals, plans. I thought by refusing it would be abundantly clear just how much I love you!!

But it didn’t. It seems to me that you walked around viewing everything from only your perspective. Do you still?? I realize that we had deep discussions at times. We even “debated” things at times. And occasionally even chatted about ” …things”… at times.

I stayed with you because I believed in you. In the possibility of us. It was a worthwhile investment, I thought, of my time and energy, and… my love for you. I really didn’t see you the way so many do, mostly women.

We’d be walking with your arm around me. When suddenly out of nowhere a woman would grab you and kiss you. I stood by each time wondering why they thought this was okay?!

And although I always knew you belonged to the fantasies of women around the world. I simply thought of you as my dear, loving friend. Naive or not, I was always surprised by the boldness of others.

Remember the fellow you threw through his cars’ windshield after comments he made about me?? I don’t think anyone then, or now for that matter, would believe that we were just platonic friends.

You were married, with children. And to be anything other than respectful of this just seemed wrong to me. I wanted you to know that. I wanted you to know that I could wait, would wait. But then that horrible day actually came.

The day that I’d finally believed would never happen, happened. You told me of canceling your pending divorce. That she said you had to wait until your youngest turned 18. Then you proposed to me, giving me that beautiful yellow, baguette diamond ring. Which I stared at for a long time then handed it back to you, sobbing.

Did you think I was stupid? Or maybe… your personal whore? Nah, I don’t believe it. Won’t believe it. You weren’t like that.

But I was not going to wait 9-10 years. I had a life, goals, plans, idea’s. That beautiful ring changed nothing. The reality I’d been avoiding all those years just finally hit home. No more denial, no more pretending. As they say, ” …it is what it is”.

I needed to get my head back above water because I was drowning in you. “Fight or Flee” syndrome is what I had. I had clearly lost the fight. It was now time to flee. I didn’t want to go, but China was beckoning me.

I learned the grass is not greener on the other side.





LostAngelsMovie>RennReed>RobertRedford>SundanceFF>2

10 05 2016

I’ve always believed in you.

Married w/Children was my only reason. All the girls hated me, they couldn’t understand why we became friends. I think really it was more… how did we become friends, and they didn’t.

I’m very ordinary, very average looking.  I was never that good in school. I wanted to make something of myself, stand on my own 2 feet.

You wanted to give me the world. I have loved you always. Yet your mantra to me was, “…do you think you could ever love me the way I love you”?

But you never seemed able to feel my love for you. Maybe because we are born from different generations. I don’t know. Seems though that you should have understood, me, after 5 years??

I refused the jewelry, the monogramed drafting table, clothes, Porsche, apartment, absolutely everything. But you never seemed to actually get it.

I refused it all because all I ever wanted, needed… was you. I didn’t need your money. I didn’t need your fame. I was never with you because of your “Golden Boy” good looks. I enjoyed you, loved YOU.

Refusing all that you offered me including flying to Europe, should have screamed volumes about how much I loved YOU!!

But that day, that horrible day, where reality met fantasy I knew we would never be. Not the way I had hoped. And so I had to do something to help my heart. To help my soul. I had to go away, my pain was too great to stay.

I don’t do well with pain, sadness, all of it. I came to you in tears hoping you would have some reassuring kind words to offer me. But no, you thought I chose China over you.

In all reality I was not capable of fighting the insurmountable odds that I was up against. So the only thing I could do was to flee as far away from you as possible. And in a way where you would never again be able to get to me.

But that path which I chose because of how the stars changed our world. What I thought was a constructive way to re-think and re-organize my life, my goals.

Turned out to be the most horrid of nightmares. A scorpions nest full of the worst dreams one could ever imagine. And some beyond imagining. No one could have foreseen any of this shit-storm coming. Not a soul.

That’s when I began to realize, and learn that yes, although we do make decisions everyday. All too frequently for many of us, consequences occur that hit us seemingly out of no where.

And there we are truly in the middle of the storm. No family to help, and no friends available. There we are, stuck, and shit-outta-luck.





LostAngelsMovie>RennReed>RobertRedford>SundanceFF>1

1 05 2016

So… I’ve learned that whether we like it or not, all things are connected. For example, I make a choice, a decision, if you will. You think, a-ha well she chose that over me!!

Thereby you (hypothetically speaking) and not necessarily understanding, that your decision(s) affected my making the decision(s), that I ultimately made, all because of “Your” choice(s).

Choices are made every day by each and everyone of us. What we eat, will or will not make us fat, for example. But sometimes decisions are made which have an affect, or effect not anticipated, or expected therefore.

For example when I learned that I had cancer in 1987 I ultimately ended up weighing 400 lbs. thanks to inactivity in part, but the medicines that normally cause one to become thinner, I ended up becoming really FAT-ter!!

I’m so sorry!!! SORRY, SORRY, SORRY to YOU!!! YOU JUST DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW, OR UNDERSTAND that I never meant to hurt you!! EVER!! YOU HAVE no idea how SORRY I Am…

I am “cynically optimistic” that you will forgive me. But truthfully, there is a part of me that doesn’t feel that is possible because you make very clear distinctions about everyone and everything. There seem to be no grays in your world.

It is because you never returned any of my calls or messages when I returned, leaving earlier than expected, to return to you, and therfore left my China behind. That being said, sadly I realized how adamantly you had decided about me, and my choices, decisions. I realized early on an apology is not enough, sometimes, anyway.

I only returned to Taiwan because I was offered a position designing with a major department store in Kaohsiung, Taiwan. Some terrible things happened to me well beyond my control, and clearly not anticipated, much less expected.

And once again, I managed to return to my beautiful USA, with help from some friends.

Hence developing a “cynical optimism” so to speak. And… given current circumstances, which I admit I don’t fully understand. I don’t actually expect you to change “your mind” about “things”.

But I do hope, although hoping does seem hopeless, at times. I always hope to see you, speak/chat with you. I hope to at least be “friends” again, with you… BUT…

I don’t believe because seeing does seem to be required to believe. With that being said, I’m cynical since apparently I do NOT see!! So… how does one, how do I, how to… BELIEVE?? IS THE QUESTION.

I don’t know, don’t have a clue as to how to understand, or come to terms with how EVERYTHING has unfolded in these past 40 years. But I wish, and hope beyond hopes, the best for you everyday!!!

I don’t know, or understand your current situation but only want the best for you, ALWAYS!!!

So, I’m hoping at some point you might be able to FORGIVE ME about “IT All”.

I SHALL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, ALWAYS.





LostAngelsMovie>LiquidIceEntertainment>RobertRedford>SundanceFF

29 04 2016

I have just completed all documents incorporating Liquid Ice Entertainment, LLC in the state of Iowa!!

YEAH!! Robert Redford, Sundance, Film Festival, John Cooper, Bruce Willis, film industry!!

Finally completed dissolving Liquid Ice Entertainment in the State of South Dakota.








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